No Chef!
by Snakeshark196
Summary: Chef Hatchet is horny. So he goes to Noah's house and has some fun. Warning some very bizarre and demented things are here. Rated M for very sexual content.


**Disclaimer: I do not own TD anything. No money is being made. **

**This is my second one shot over all but first m rated so I hope you like.**

**WARNING: Younger readers turn back now or else be scared for life. Very sexual themed content lies within. Also if you get squeamish to easily turn back as well. **

**YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

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Chef Hatchet sat alone in his apartment late at night. Thanks to not having much money from that shitty TV show, he had shitty online access. He was trying to watch these two dudes hump each other but the damn computer kept freezing. He couldn't get the erection he wanted.

Eventually he got pissed and grabbed it, throwing it against the wall, watching it splatter into many pieces. "Fuck you," he screamed.

"No, fuck you," he could hear his neighbor yell back.

"Izzy I was not talking to you," Chef growled. As he stormed out his door to get what he wanted. And that was sex, luckily he knew exactly where some of his favorite campers are :).

He stormed down to his pimp mobile, which he liked to call it. He drove to the nearest former camper, marched up to it and kicked the front door in. He glared at Noah who sat on his couch, jerking off to porn he was watching on his own laptop.

"Let's do it," Chef growled, slamming the door shut.

Noah looked startled as he nearly broke his dick, as he squeezed to hard. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I have a hard on," Chef replied, taking the laptop away from him and setting it on the coffee table. He looked to see Noah was watching what looked to be a Cody/Cameron love fest with Sierra.

"Cute," Chef growled.

"Hey, I'm not watching it for Sierra," Noah rolled his eyes. "Besides big guys like you don't turn me on."

Chef was goanna answer when he heard some ruffling in the near by kitchen.

He stood up and walked into to it and gasped when he saw Trent banging a wooden carving of the number 9. "This is so worth 9 splinters," he told himself.

Chef rolled his eyes, he then heard some more moaning sounds coming from a nearby bedroom. He barged in on who was ever in here. He gasped when he saw Duncan humping a shaking DJ who was still fully clothed, Duncan was completely naked except for his spiked choker.

DJ looked over at Chef and thought he found a savior, "Help me," mouthed.

Duncan looked over as well and smiled. "Hey come join the party dude."

Chef nodded and slammed the door behind himself and thought that he would. "Hold still DJ, this will only hurt a few seconds."

DJ gulped as Chef striped naked, "Dad, no," he screamed.

"Dad yes," Duncan moaned as she camed on DJ's face.

DJ screamed wanting to bolt out of the room, but Chef was on him way to fast.

Trent opened the door and glared at them.

"Come on in and join the fun," Duncan suggested.

"No," Trent yelled, "Now keep it down, I still have to do 9, 89 more times in order to please the ninth god."

Duncan shrugged as he went back to doing what he did best.

DJ coward as Chef took off the wimps clothes.

Duncan looked around and found a three-way was so boring. So he ditched them and left, grabbing his clothes.

As he left the bedroom he nearly walked into a panicked Brick. "Duncan why are you naked?"

Duncan smirked, "Cause its party time." He grabbed Brick by his arm and dragged him down the hall (kicking and screaming on the cadets side) and into the bathroom, where Duncan closed and locked the door. Putting a sign on it that read: Do Not Disturb until Xmas.

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**Am I demented or what. So how'd you like it, cause this probably will be the only time I write something like this. **

**Sorry for being short, didn't know how long it should be. **

**I'd like to dedicate this to an awesome writer known as RedEyedWarrior who is a big inspiration to all authors. So if you have not read his 'Total Drama Prison or Unsuitable Suitors' or any of his other awesome work. Do it now or Trent will come and rape you 81 times then Harold will call you an idiot for not following my advice. **

**That is all. **


End file.
